I'll see your negro, and raise you a vagina!

On Blake's 72nd birthday, in a crass, brazen move that even Steven was appalled at, Blake and Dex (possibly drunkenly) commenced appointing Dominique McDevaraux Elly May McClampett as his running mate (arguably the second most important position in the world), obviously choosing her only to secure more conservative and/or women voters after meeting her exactly...once!

While McClampet recently delivered a live Downs Syndrome child instead of having an abortion, she returned to her job three days(!) after "birthin' him". Now, with this live but arguably partial birth-abandoned 4-month old in tow, and her three other children that are under 18, Krystle is deathly afraid they'll build an igloo on the property that will affect property values, and - even after Dex had to explain that they were seeking a different type of "values" voters - (and the simple fact that Elly May is younger than Krystle by at least several face-lifts, and what with Blake's history of leaving old trollops for baby factories) insisted that they live no closer than the trailer park across town.


Claudia was bitterly disappointed to learn that there would not, in fact, be a gaggle of "Mooses" on the south wing's lawn with the coming of this (undomesticated?) Alaskan family.

You Can't Have Douchebag Without The "D"

And Dex McDexter's got two!

Dex McDexter is a (possibly) former lobbyist running Blake McCarrington's campaign. Can one ever really over-mention the fact that in 2000 he push-polled about Blake and Krystle's adopted daughter from Bangladesh, Amanda, asking voters if it would change their opinion about McCarrington if they "were aware that he'd fathered an illegitimate black child"?

Sadly, Blake is afraid to lose this election, so he's hired Dex to ruin run his campaign.

His lobbying firm (Pasty, White, Fat, Balding and Rich) has brought in nearly $1 Billion in fees representing repressive dictators, fascist regimes and murderous tyrants, as well as some non-oil companies and foreign interests.

Dex always says "$931 million gets our special interests the best government money can buy."

Jet! Set!

Blake and Dex McDexter are figuring out how quell a rising brouhaha over Blake's confusion and inability to remember how many houses the McCarringtons own. When he was asked this in an interview by Steven, he responded "I'll have to have my staff get back to you"!

This seriously puts a dent in Dex's narrative of how Blake and Krystle McCarrington are just simple folks who could never resemble their elitist (community organizer) opponent. But, wouldn't you know that both Blake and Dex used Blake's past POW status as his excuse?! "Don't forget! POW is the reason for the political season!"

Also, Blake sent two of his (pasty white, paunchy, balding, conservative - how diverse!) colleagues to go represent him at a recently-invaded Russian break-away state.

Then, to spice things up a bit, Krystle decided to fly her private jet to go there too, to visit their wounded vets and work on the removal of previously unknown landmines!! Was it simply a coincidence that the story broke at the same time that Blake's opponent's wife was addressing their party's National Convention?


Luckily for Blake, after he claimed on national TV during a religious debate that his definition of "rich" was "people with income of more than $5 million", he was talked out of starting a new attack group called "Uppity Negro Men for McCarrington", by Dex pointing out that it might be "too presumptuous", and Steven claiming it "shows lack of confidence". Just kidding... (about that very last part).

Keeping up with the McCarringtons

Blake McCarrington divorced his first wife, Alexis McColby, who had been a swimsuit model, but got into a car accident while waiting on Blake to return from being a POW back in Vietnam, because she had surgery that shrank her more than 5 inches and the pain made her gain weight.

He married Krystle McJennings, a beer heiress 17 years his junior,
with a $100,000,000 fortune.

Now, he’s nearing 72 years old, which would make him the oldest candidate for that office in history, and he’s running for office against a black man.

When Blake ran for office eight years ago,

Dex McDexter disgustingly stooped so low as to push-poll that Blake had fathered an illegitimate black child (!) (Amanda McBedford, who was, in reality, adopted from Bangladesh).

But, now Blake’s so desperate to win
that he’s hired Dex to run his campaign!!